Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
