Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
