Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
