Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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