Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize