yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
