I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
