i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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