you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
