I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
