What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
