There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
