Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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