Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
