Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
