You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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