doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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