No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
we should paint friendship bongs
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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