True but thats because hes a fetus.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
