Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
