are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
