I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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