Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
