I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
