I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
