my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
