There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
