i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
