The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
