We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
