you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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