Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
