And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize