She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Randomize
