he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize