WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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