Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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