Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize