I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
