That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
ttyl tear gas
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
