...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
