well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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