There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
