Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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