i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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