dude i'm inner monologue high
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
