i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
