yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize