You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Found your dick twin last night
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
