True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
