i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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