Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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