Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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