So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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