he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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