pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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