Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
