So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
