waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
this will be a night to untag.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
