Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize