Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
