If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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