there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize