its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
