Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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