You're completely useless in the revolution.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize