is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
