Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
