when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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