After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
