As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
