i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
